My Self-Esteem Journey
I don’t think I would’ve identified myself as having low self-esteem if someone had asked me 10 or 20 years ago. And I don’t think most people who knew me then would’ve guessed it either. But I sure did struggle with it for most of my life. It was only when I began my journey with Life Coaching that I realized how much fear and low self-esteem were driving me, and I started to make a shift.
I can recall so many times in my twenties and thirties feeling almost paralyzed by fear in making decisions. I would go round and round in my head, trying to “figure it out,” making pros and cons lists, and keep myself completely stuck for days or even weeks. I was so terrified of making the “wrong” choice. I felt frozen and drained.
I also struggled internally in these ways:
I was constantly judging others – keeping them at a distant when I really wanted to be close.
I often compared myself to others and usually came up short.
I told myself I wasn’t likable and “if people Really knew me….,” – so I pulled away.
I drove myself to “succeed” at the expense of relaxing and having fun.
I can truly say that I now feel quite different inside myself. Although all those traits aren’t totally gone, the good news is that I experience them much less often. And I think what’s so freeing is that I don’t expect them to be totally gone. I give myself way more allowance for being human and having feelings and thoughts that aren’t enlightened. Thank goodness!
For example, decision-making is way easier now. I think it’s because I know myself better that I can more easily check in and decide Yes or No, and take action. I make decisions faster and don’t spend a lot of time doubting them.
I’m also much less judgmental of others and more accepting and compassionate towards them. I think that’s because I’m now that way towards myself. I feel more spacious and understanding with my and others’ foibles and can more easily laugh at myself and not take things personally. I feel so much lighter.
I compare myself much less too. I’m more able to rest in a state of appreciation with those I admire instead of thinking I need to compete with them or somehow prove myself to them or be “better.”
I also like myself much more than I ever have. I’m able to appreciate my strengths and even my challenges. Now I understand that we’re all likable and lovable and deserving of love and kindness. Somehow, I used to exclude myself from that, thinking others were more likable than me. That was a sad way to go about relating with people and it kept me feeling small. And then I’d unconsciously do things to try to get them to like me. That was exhausting!
Because I like myself and truly Love, accept and appreciate myself now, I’m kinder with myself and generally more at ease. I don’t push myself to succeed like I used to and I make social, play and relaxation time a priority, creating a more balanced life-style. Yay! I can truly say that I love myself and that I love my life. I feel very blessed :).
What a relief! I didn’t realize how much energy I was using up with all these self-depreciating beliefs and patterns. Now I feel much more present when I’m with people and spend much less time agonizing and stressing myself out about what they think of me or what I should say or do to get it “right.” I no longer go to bed obsessing about what I said or should have said. Plus, I get to do more of what I want with all this energy I’m reclaiming.
I’m a person who loves to share what I’m excited about and what has worked for me. I’ve always been a teacher, even as a child. I’ve created an awesome marriage of yoga and coaching methods that I use with my clients and groups and I’m passionate about getting these tools out to as many people as I can. I know so many women struggle with low self-worth, exhaust themselves over-thinking everything and hold themselves back with fear. I want to show them how they can live with more lightness, have more fun, connect more deeply and love their lives. Everyone deserves to have a yummy life. And if I could do it, I know others can too!
This is why I’m taking my Self-Esteem Transformation Course into an online format. I want to be able to reach more people than can make my weekly groups in Arcata. The course is open through September 20 and I’m super excited about it! And I’m a little nervous too :).
Here’s the info:
Please pass this on to anyone you know who can benefit.
The light in me honors the light in you,